Aloha Politics

• A Lie Too Far: NBCNews Telling Some Truth About Romney’s Lies

  by TomP

• A shocking Obamacare fact no one realizes

  by sreeizzle2012

• BREAKING: Reporters Shoot Straight, Destroy Romney’s Fake “Storm Relief” Event

  by The Troubadour

• Bachmann update MN-06: totally burned at first debate

  by Bill Prendergast

• Bill Clinton shreds Romney’s asinine “Obama promised to begin to slow the rise of the oceans”remark

  by Lefty Coaster

• “Romney is going to win. He’s WAY ahead in the polls and early voting”

  by lighttheway

• Obama Campaign Asks Wis DOJ For Action on GOP Voter Suppression Plans (Update)

  by Puddytat

• President Obama is going to Win Again, by BEING the President

  by Vyan

• “Governor, You’ve Been Asked 14 Times…Why Are You Refusing To Answer The Question?” UPDX2

  by therehastobeaway

• Swung an Undecided voter in Ohio

  by themis

• That’s Gotta Sting: Christie to survey NJ damage w/Obama after dissing Romney

  by Brainwrap

• Raped 14-year old Denied Abortion

And finally, New Rule: Since President Obama seems to be having so much trouble defending his record on the economy, the next debate must be held in a mall. Any mall. It doesn’t matter. They’re all packed. There’s one not 100 yards from this studio, with dancing waters and a choo-choo train, and a shirtless gay kid out in front of Abercrombie & Fitch. The parking garage is always full, the Cheesecake Factory is working overtime, and Lady Gaga’s new perfume — with its delightful scent of blood and semen — is flying off the shelves at Nordstrom’s.

What I’m saying is, I know it’s campaign season, but can we all stop acting like the American economy is in complete shambles, where no one has a job or a place to live, and we’re all doing our laundry in the river? (wild audience applause)

Thank you. I mean, folks, I travel this country constantly, all four corners of it. And everywhere I go, I’m always standing in line for 20 minutes to buy hair gel, or batteries, or nipple moisturizer. Traffic is a bitch everywhere. Yes, there are people sleeping on the sidewalk, but that’s to buy an iPhone just like the one they already have! (audience applause)

It just doesn’t feel like Obama has ruined America. Republicans, you know, they used to talk a lot about this thing called the stock market, and how it helped not just the rich, but middle class folks, whose pensions and 401(k)’s depended on it. Well, now they never seem to mention the stock market. Perhaps, because under President Blackenstein, the Dow has doubled. Or as Republicans call it, “devastating economic news”. (audience applause)

Now, there certainly still is poverty in our country, but it’s obviously among the underclass that you don’t see — the very people that today’s Republicans couldn’t give a shit about! So I don’t understand why they’re all so upset about the economy. Except, of course, it’s their big issue. So they have to pretend that America is a rotting compost heap where people are eating cat food and wiping their ass with the pennysaver. (audience applause)

And weirdly, Obama kinda has to pretend that too. Because if he doesn’t, then he’s “out of touch”. So we all wind up living with this fictional picture of America that actually would be more appropriate for the year before Obama took office. Remember 2008? (audience applause) Yeah, I do.

That’s when Lehman Brothers collapsed, and the markets froze, and they were measuring GM for a pumpkin lot. And when you opened your bank statement, you saw the drowned Japanese girl from The Ring, and then you died.

And yes, I am saying we can keep blaming Bush for that. It’s the same as blaming rats for the Black Plague. Just because you’re sick of hearing historians say it, doesn’t mean it stopped being true. (wild audience applause)

George Bush left a flaming pile of dog shit on the White House steps, and now it’s gone, and Mitt Romney has a hell of a nerve running on the idea that “I’m going to fix the economy by restoring the policies of the party that destroyed it”.

12 million jobs. That’s what Mitt Romney promises. 12 million. A number that’s just… waaaaay up there. (reaches into ass to pull it out) Oh, there it is, wow! There it is, 12 million! (wild audience applause) Way up there! Hoo, boy, I feel better.

And about 45% of American voters hear that and say, “I like. Me want good now.”

People are disappointed in the economy? Sorry. I was disappointed in Prometheus. You don’t like the way the stewardess landed the plane after werewolves ate the flight crew? Stop electing werewolves.

That’s our show!

Go here for the full, hilarious story!The Real Romney

Romney was a precocious and gifted child. He uttered his first words (“I like to fire people”) at age 14 months, made his first gaffe at 15 months and purchased his first nursery school at 24 months. The school, highly leveraged, went under, but Romney made 24 million Jujubes on the deal. …

Mitt grew up in a modest family. His father had an auto body shop called the American Motors Corporation, and his mother owned a small piece of land, Brazil. He had several boyhood friends, many of whom owned Nascar franchises, and excelled at school, where his fourth-grade project, “Inspiring Actuaries I Have Known,” was widely admired. …

There was, frankly, a period of wandering. After hearing Lou Reed’s “Walk on the Wild Side,” Romney decided to leave Mormonism and become Amish. He left the Amish faith because of its ban on hair product, and bounced around before settling back in college. There, he majored in music, rendering Mozart’s entire oeuvre in PowerPoint. …

Romney is also a passionately devoted family man. After streamlining his wife’s pregnancies down to six months each, Mitt helped Ann raise five perfect sons — Bip, Chip, Rip, Skip and Dip — who married identically tanned wives. Some have said that Romney’s lifestyle is overly privileged, pointing to the fact that he has an elevator for his cars in the garage of his San Diego home. This is not entirely fair. Romney owns many homes without garage elevators and the cars have to take the stairs.

Jeff Gauvin

Maddow then noted an interesting fact: that some of the richest people in America were worth more than the GDP of many, many of the nations who have gathered at the UN this week. She centered on the Koch brothers, the Tea Party backers whose name has become a curse word in some circles. Together, the brothers are worth $50 billion — enough, Maddow noted, to purchase the island of Samoa 88 times, or to buy a very long list of other countries.

However, while the Kochs have only gotten richer, they have simultaneously laid off 13,000 workers in the last four years.

“I thought rich people were the job creators,” Maddow mused. “And yet the more money they seem to make, the fewer people they seem to employ.”

Go here for the whole story and a video. Rachel Maddow Loves Walkouts, Does Not Love Koch Brothers (VIDEO)