And finally, New Rule: Since President Obama seems to be having so much trouble defending his record on the economy, the next debate must be held in a mall. Any mall. It doesn’t matter. They’re all packed. There’s one not 100 yards from this studio, with dancing waters and a choo-choo train, and a shirtless gay kid out in front of Abercrombie & Fitch. The parking garage is always full, the Cheesecake Factory is working overtime, and Lady Gaga’s new perfume — with its delightful scent of blood and semen — is flying off the shelves at Nordstrom’s.
What I’m saying is, I know it’s campaign season, but can we all stop acting like the American economy is in complete shambles, where no one has a job or a place to live, and we’re all doing our laundry in the river? (wild audience applause)
Thank you. I mean, folks, I travel this country constantly, all four corners of it. And everywhere I go, I’m always standing in line for 20 minutes to buy hair gel, or batteries, or nipple moisturizer. Traffic is a bitch everywhere. Yes, there are people sleeping on the sidewalk, but that’s to buy an iPhone just like the one they already have! (audience applause)
It just doesn’t feel like Obama has ruined America. Republicans, you know, they used to talk a lot about this thing called the stock market, and how it helped not just the rich, but middle class folks, whose pensions and 401(k)’s depended on it. Well, now they never seem to mention the stock market. Perhaps, because under President Blackenstein, the Dow has doubled. Or as Republicans call it, “devastating economic news”. (audience applause)
Now, there certainly still is poverty in our country, but it’s obviously among the underclass that you don’t see — the very people that today’s Republicans couldn’t give a shit about! So I don’t understand why they’re all so upset about the economy. Except, of course, it’s their big issue. So they have to pretend that America is a rotting compost heap where people are eating cat food and wiping their ass with the pennysaver. (audience applause)
And weirdly, Obama kinda has to pretend that too. Because if he doesn’t, then he’s “out of touch”. So we all wind up living with this fictional picture of America that actually would be more appropriate for the year before Obama took office. Remember 2008? (audience applause) Yeah, I do.
That’s when Lehman Brothers collapsed, and the markets froze, and they were measuring GM for a pumpkin lot. And when you opened your bank statement, you saw the drowned Japanese girl from The Ring, and then you died.
And yes, I am saying we can keep blaming Bush for that. It’s the same as blaming rats for the Black Plague. Just because you’re sick of hearing historians say it, doesn’t mean it stopped being true. (wild audience applause)
George Bush left a flaming pile of dog shit on the White House steps, and now it’s gone, and Mitt Romney has a hell of a nerve running on the idea that “I’m going to fix the economy by restoring the policies of the party that destroyed it”.
12 million jobs. That’s what Mitt Romney promises. 12 million. A number that’s just… waaaaay up there. (reaches into ass to pull it out) Oh, there it is, wow! There it is, 12 million! (wild audience applause) Way up there! Hoo, boy, I feel better.
And about 45% of American voters hear that and say, “I like. Me want good now.”
People are disappointed in the economy? Sorry. I was disappointed in Prometheus. You don’t like the way the stewardess landed the plane after werewolves ate the flight crew? Stop electing werewolves.
And remember – Romney and hedge fund operators do NOT contribute to the economic well-being. They do NOT create well=paying jobs. They take money for their benefit, at low and/or subsidized tax rates, without truly benefiting either most Americans or American society as a whole. They are predators, they are vulture capitalists as Rick Perry rightly noted. They are selfish bastards.
hnlnow.com – See the latest work from Mary Babcock (O’ahu), Solomon Enos (O’ahu), Jianjie Ji (O’ahu), Jaisy Hanlon (Maui), Sally Lundburg (Hawai’i), and Bruna Stude (Kaua’i). The Biennial of Hawai’i Artists aim…
hnlnow.com – WORKHOUSEpresents: RESPECT THE MIC 2� A now yearly fundraiser from workhouse to help raise funds for YOUTH SPEAKS HAWAI’I programing. This year proceeds will go to the youth speaks Hawai’i Weekly W…
hawaiinewsnow.com – HONOLULU (HawaiiNewsNow) – A resident of an apartment complex where a fire broke out late Wednesday night in the Punahou area, was arrested Friday afternoon on first degree arson charges. Authorit…
hawaiinewsnow.com – Honolulu (HawaiiNewsNow) – The shooting happened around 5:30 Saturday morning at a parking lot off of Kalauokalani way and Kapiolani Boulevard. Police tell us that two people were having an argumen…
hawaiinewsnow.com – Big Island police are asking for the public’s help in locating a 43-year-old Kailua-Kona man wanted for assault and other offenses. Robert Kanuela Tanoai—also known as “Boomer”—is considered armed …
hawaiibusiness.com – The Optimism Index is a valuable leading economic indicator. If business leaders are optimistic about the future, they are more likely to expand their businesses, add inventory, hire more employees…
hawaiibusiness.com – Welcome to Hawaii Business magazine’s Top 100 Realtors for 2012. This is the only objective ranking of Realtors in the state. The information was compiled using the Multiple Listing Service databas…
hawaiinewsnow.com – MANOA (HawaiiNewsNow) – After nearly three years, a new chapter started at a Manoa hangout. Governor Neil Abercrombie joined community members for the grand opening of the new Manoa Public Library…
hawaiinewsnow.com – HONOLULU (HawaiiNewsNow) – Hundreds of keiki hit the water Saturday at Magic Island. That’s where the American Red Cross held its annual free summer swim program. According to the Red Cross, in H…
hawaiinewsnow.com – HONOLULU (HawaiiNewsNow) – Veterans now have a new tool to help them find work once they’re out of the military. A new agreement between McDonald’s of Hawaii and the Army’s Partnership for Youth S…
hawaiinewsnow.com – HONOLULU (HawaiiNewsNow) – The sunny weather Saturday was a welcome sight for thousands who lined the streets of Honolulu to take part in a colorful tradition. The 96th Annual King Kamehameha Flor…
hawaiinewsnow.com – KALAELOA (HawaiiNewsNow) – A surfer nearly drowned at White Plains Beach Saturday. It’s unclear what happened, but one witness told Hawaii News Now the man was competing in a surf contest and was …
hawaiibusiness.com – When the University of Central Florida’s football team lost its last scheduled game in 2005 to Tulsa, its consolation prize was a berth in the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl. “Let me get this right,” coach G…
commoncause.org – John Marion has been named the Executive Director of Common Cause RI. Common Cause RI is a non-partisan advocacy group which works for open, ethical and accountable government. Marion takes the hel…
huffingtonpost.com – Facebook shares dropped more than 3.2 percent to $37.02 (as of 8:11 a.m) in pre-market action on Monday, according to a Bloomberg report. The drop means that the social network’s stock has dropped …
huffingtonpost.com – Posted: 05/20/2012 9:46 am Updated: 05/20/2012 10:56 pm Geraldo Rivera came down on Trayvon Martin’s clothing again on Friday, arguing that the teenager’s “thug wear” led George Zimmerman to suspec…
thesuiteworld.com – Lindsay Marie gives us a tour through the “Seven Sacred Pools”. Falling off the mountain is fresh mineral water, crashing into the black sand beach, breathtaking! The Pools of ‘Ohe’o (pupularly cal…
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guardian.co.uk – Hunterston nuclear power station near Largs, Scotland. Photograph: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images Ministers are planning to subsidise nuclear power through electricity bills, despite their promises n…
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Even if prices stabilize this year, millions of underwater borrowers face a long wait before they can sell their homes without having to write a big check to their lender to cover the shortfall. Economists at Goldman Sachs recently forecast that after bottoming in 2013 house prices won’t recover their 2006 peak until 2023. (No, that’s not a typo.)
Many homeowners simply can’t wait that long.
In the early stages of the housing bust, the main causes of defaults included unemployment or other financial setbacks and adjustable mortgages that reset to unaffordable levels, according to researchers. Now, five years into the housing recession, strategic defaults are growing as financially healthy borrowers learn of friends or family who have decided to walk away.
A recent study commissioned by the Mortgage Bankers Association likens the rise in the rate of strategic defaults to the spread of a disease. The longer the crisis drags on, the more homeowners will be exposed to someone who has successfully walked away, making the decision easier, the study suggested. “As fundamentally social animals, humans consciously (and subconsciously) look to their peers when forming opinions, habits and behaviors,” the report said.
Why don’t you know the facts of the EU social safety net? Why won’t the plutocrat owned American media cover this?
In the European Union everyone to include low wage workers who aren’t even unionized are able to receive 4 weeks paid vacation a year. They are able to receive as a human right complete medical and dental to include a prescription plan with little or no co-pays or deductibles. They are never exposed to exclusion of medical services based on pre-existing conditions, which seems to be a uniquely American phenomenon. Everyone to include low wage workers gets paid sick leave. Everyone gets job protected paid maternity leave by right of law. Now why don’t these things exist in America? Is it by accident or by design and if it is by design, who designed it? Who profits from it? To whose benefit and whose detriment. Moreover why isn’t this on every news channel. Why is it you have to read about this on a Kos diary. Why isn’t this news headlines all across the country everyday? Who owns those media outlets? Who influences editorial policy. Is the American media complicit in aiding and abetting Wall Street in screwing the American worker and screwing the American taxpayer. Why aren’t we mad as hell about this everyday! When is it enough??
Here are some simple facts, simply put did you know that students in Continental Europe basically don’t have student loan debt? Why don’t you know that?
Isn’t it enough that they’re drowning your kids in student loan debt. You want to know something even crazier which I’m sure you don’t know, did you know the lifetime limit of the Federal Stafford Student Loan hasn’t been increased in over 20 years! Now why the hell is that? Who are they trying to keep out of higher education, could it be that if too many working class stiffs get too educated, that they will try to dismantle this system which is rotten to the core from the inside, because that’s it isn’t it. They want to limit educational opportunity to just their people on the one hand, on the other hand they want to drown you and your kids in student loan debt. Did you know this doesn’t happen in any country in Continental Europe, I’m sure you don’t know that. I want to know why you don’t know that? Who has kept that information from you? And why? Did you know and this is serious, that education in Continental Europe is almost free. Let me just say that again, so that nobody thinks this is a typo, education in Continental Europe is almost free of charge that is to say, that American students probably spend as much or more on books, just books for the school year, than students in Continental Europe spend in an entire year’s tuition. You may ask how is that possible? Let me ask you how is it possible that you didn’t know that? Could it be so they can continue to drown you and your kids in student loan debt, because this has become a source of neo-indentured servitude, therein creating a really compliant workforce, because now you really need that job. You have got to pay off a lot of student debt, imagine that. Well you don’t have to imagine that, you live it everyday, and you swallow it and you take it and you take it until you can’t take it anymore, and then it’s enough! Oh by the way those same students in Europe get virtually free health insurance and if they have a family they are covered as well. Again tiny or no co-pays or deductibles, no pre-existing conditions to exclude one from health care coverage.
